Meeting Women in Public Places
I've read a couple of books on picking up women. I've also checked out a few of the speed seduction websites. Both claim that you can meet hot, sexy, women in public places. And that you can seduce them, if you use the right techniques.
I agree that hot women abound in public places. Just go to the mall, library, grocery store, or even WalMart and check it out. Countless numbers of attractive, hot, sexy women pass by. Finding sexy women is not a problem, but making a connection with them is.
I've tried approaching women in public places using some of the techniques advocated in the pickup and speed seduction books and websites. I've had some limited success in striking up a conversation, but I've failed miserably in making a connection that lead to a sexual encounter. The reasons for this are obvious.
First of all, women are very cautious by nature, especially when it comes to conversing with strange men. For all they know you are some sort of predator or the next Ted Bundy. I live near a big city, so the women here tend to be especially cautious, and I don't blame them for that. I'm cautious around strangers myself.
I've found that women are also a bit taken aback when you speak to them. For one they have their minds focused on shopping or whatever, and don't expect the goodlooking guy in the checkout lane at the grocery store to hit on them.
The other obstacle that I've mentioned in previous posts is that I'm married and most of the women in my area are also married, so the odds of finding a woman who has an interest similar to mine is a bit remote. I've noticed that when I speak to married women they instinctively mention their husband at some time early in the conversation. It seems almost like a subconcious defensive reaction to my approach.
Most of the single women are younger than me, so right away they size me up as an older married man (which I am) and the conversation tends to end rather quickly because of their lack of interest. It's amazing how women can tell if you are married or not. It's like a sixth sense.
On the positive side, women are very flattered when you pay them a compliment or make them smile with a clever remark. They like the attention, but I find that they know exactly how to end the conversation when it starts to lead toward meeting for a drink "to get better acquainted". I've tried to come up with a smooth way to transition from the "Hi, how are you? I really like your jacket" introductory phase, to the "I've enjoyed talking with you. You seem very nice. Maybe we can meet for coffee some time." My invitation is invariably met with the, "Thanks, but I'm married (engaged, have a boyfriend, etc) excuse. They are flattered that I asked, but I can't seem to get to the next step of getting their telephone number.
At first I took the rejection personally, but now I know that this is just a game that has a very low probability of success, especially for a middle age married guy. I figure that only about 4 women in 10,000 will be interested in my offer. Those are pretty low odds.
It's possible to up the odds for success if you go to a bar to meet and pickup women, but this is almost impossible for a married guy to pull off. The typical approach includes making eye contact and then following up with clever, sexy conversation, and lots of touching (keno). It also involves pouring as many drinks down them as possible. But getting women drunk in order to have sex with them isn't my style. And, like I say, it's an impractical approach for someone like me who is home nearly every night except for the occasional business trip.
My experiences, of course, are based on those of a middle age married guy and don't reflect those of a single bachelor. Most of the seduction and pickup guides are slanted toward singles, and I have no doubt that a good looking guy could apply the strategies very effectively. I've found, however, that the traditional dating rules simply don't apply to me.
Meeting women in public places is difficult, if not impossible, for the typical married guy.
I agree that hot women abound in public places. Just go to the mall, library, grocery store, or even WalMart and check it out. Countless numbers of attractive, hot, sexy women pass by. Finding sexy women is not a problem, but making a connection with them is.
I've tried approaching women in public places using some of the techniques advocated in the pickup and speed seduction books and websites. I've had some limited success in striking up a conversation, but I've failed miserably in making a connection that lead to a sexual encounter. The reasons for this are obvious.
First of all, women are very cautious by nature, especially when it comes to conversing with strange men. For all they know you are some sort of predator or the next Ted Bundy. I live near a big city, so the women here tend to be especially cautious, and I don't blame them for that. I'm cautious around strangers myself.
I've found that women are also a bit taken aback when you speak to them. For one they have their minds focused on shopping or whatever, and don't expect the goodlooking guy in the checkout lane at the grocery store to hit on them.
The other obstacle that I've mentioned in previous posts is that I'm married and most of the women in my area are also married, so the odds of finding a woman who has an interest similar to mine is a bit remote. I've noticed that when I speak to married women they instinctively mention their husband at some time early in the conversation. It seems almost like a subconcious defensive reaction to my approach.
Most of the single women are younger than me, so right away they size me up as an older married man (which I am) and the conversation tends to end rather quickly because of their lack of interest. It's amazing how women can tell if you are married or not. It's like a sixth sense.
On the positive side, women are very flattered when you pay them a compliment or make them smile with a clever remark. They like the attention, but I find that they know exactly how to end the conversation when it starts to lead toward meeting for a drink "to get better acquainted". I've tried to come up with a smooth way to transition from the "Hi, how are you? I really like your jacket" introductory phase, to the "I've enjoyed talking with you. You seem very nice. Maybe we can meet for coffee some time." My invitation is invariably met with the, "Thanks, but I'm married (engaged, have a boyfriend, etc) excuse. They are flattered that I asked, but I can't seem to get to the next step of getting their telephone number.
At first I took the rejection personally, but now I know that this is just a game that has a very low probability of success, especially for a middle age married guy. I figure that only about 4 women in 10,000 will be interested in my offer. Those are pretty low odds.
It's possible to up the odds for success if you go to a bar to meet and pickup women, but this is almost impossible for a married guy to pull off. The typical approach includes making eye contact and then following up with clever, sexy conversation, and lots of touching (keno). It also involves pouring as many drinks down them as possible. But getting women drunk in order to have sex with them isn't my style. And, like I say, it's an impractical approach for someone like me who is home nearly every night except for the occasional business trip.
My experiences, of course, are based on those of a middle age married guy and don't reflect those of a single bachelor. Most of the seduction and pickup guides are slanted toward singles, and I have no doubt that a good looking guy could apply the strategies very effectively. I've found, however, that the traditional dating rules simply don't apply to me.
Meeting women in public places is difficult, if not impossible, for the typical married guy.
posted by Blueeyes at 7:24 AM
8 Comments:
So, yeah, now you're finding out why it's so hard. I gave up a long time ago. It's too much trouble.
infoman,
I agree with you that it's too much trouble. The problem is that women have been taught to negotiate for sex. It's never free. And negotiations typically fall apart when she learns that you want something different than she does.
It all a game of give and take, but I've never been very good at figuring out how to play.
Still, there's some satisfaction in the chase.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
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The fastest way to catcha woman off guard and get a response, is to make her laugh. PERIOD! It neither implies you are interested or hitting on her. But it may start the conversation. One thing I have learned on online dating is that women, in their "Ideal Date" section usually put something like "Hysterical laughing" as their idea of a good time.
Perhaps the fact that you are married is why the sixth sense kicks in in woman you try to meet. Subconscously, you may be the one putting out the signals, since you already know this and fear they will not be interested because of it. Again laughter is friendly.....
Just curious??? Have you tried www.Adultfriendfinder.com ?? I have not, but know people that have,...it might be the scratch for the itch....at least you know what they are there for.....
Ohj and by the way,..in reply to your response to info man,.."Woman have half the $$$ and all the poontang!",..who's doing the negotiating???? She can get the other half of the money (Divorce is one way)easily.....just a thought!!!
There are no negotiations....I call this charming,....not negotiating....unless you are hotter than she is,..you will lose negotiating,..but charm goes a long way....to seduction,.....but what the hell do I know....I just got back with THATGIRL on my blog...but we did break furniture...
Why are you married and trying to meet other women. Dude you're ruining the ecosystem. It's guys like you that wreck it for the single/divorced guys out there.
First off, get divorced and then go looking.
The conversation must be natural. You can't just walk up to a female and say hey nice jacket and expect the conversation to hit up. If at the mall, just say hi and introduce yourself ask her her name.
You have to be patient. Even though you might get her number today. It might be 1-2 months before you get to put it into her pink tunnel. Trust me on that one because I have gotten plenty of numbers. I even gotten numbers from women who just got out of relationships, single moms, and even crazy women.
Steps to meet women in public.
1) introduce yourself
2) make it obvious that your hitting on them
3) they will early in the convo tell you if they are single or not. if they don't say ask "are you busy with your bf this weekend"
4) ask if she is busy that weekend, ask for number, go on date. do a couple of dates. over at her place your place. be romantic
5) do not touch her, fondle, caress her privates. she will know and let you know or she will advance on you. for me women advance on me in a bout 3 weeks and go on from there
6) kiss, a couple makeout sessions
7) profit!!! = sex
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