Two Important Questions

Two important questions that deserve careful consideration and a thoughtful answer are:

Who am I?

What should I be doing?

Let's me start, by way of introduction, with the first question; Who am I?

At first these seem easy enough to answer.  I can say I'm Dennis. But no, that's just my name. That's what they call me, not who I am.

Ok, I'm a male in my 60s, college educated, widowed, semi-tired. How's that? No, that's not a good answer. Those are just the roles I've played; what I've done or accomplished in my life. I graduated from college, got married, raised 2 children, started a business, and am now looking ahead to my retirement years. But that's not who I am.

We get help from others by their candid assessment of who we are. The school years are a good place for this. Classmates tell us that we are smart or dumb, pretty or ugly, athletic or a klutz. Often this can be cruel or viscous. It can be inspiring if you are voted homecoming queen/king or class valedictorian. We are validated by our peers' and teachers' opinions, comments and feedback. But, again, that's not really who I am. It may be helpful to know these things, and it often sets the wheels in motion for pursuit of an education, career or family. But validation by others is just a judgement call.

Perhaps I can answer by noting that I'm made of this stuff; flesh and bones and blood. But as Carl Sagan taught us in Cosmos, we are made of "star stuff." We are composed of atoms that were made in stars that were hurled into space when the star exploded. Steven Hawking and others claim that the Universe was formed over 13.8 billion years ago in the Big Bang, which gave rise to everything that exists. So, I might say, with some degree of confidence, that I'm the Big Bang.  I'm what the Universe is doing right now. I'm just part of a Universe that makes stars, planets, and life...including me.

But wait, I am consciously aware of my existence in the Universe.  Even though I'm made of "star stuff", consciousness makes it possible for me to be aware of my existence. A more accurate description of who I am is...pure consciousness. 

But where does my consciousness come from (if that's the right way to phrase it)? The nature of consciousness has been debated by neuroscientists and natural philosophers for centuries. Who is this person who seems to be perched in my head looking out at the world through my eyes? We have a sense that this entity is being moved about inside a body that belongs to "me." Why is it "me" and not somebody else? What if my father had married somebody else? Would my consciousness still exist, but in a different body? Where was "I" before I was born? Where will "I" go after my body made of "star stuff" gives up the fight? Nobody knows. 

The only truthful answer I can give to the question "Who am I?" is "I don't know."